Just Couldn't Resist Posting This ...

[Mark H]

Crazy Police dogs, dont want to mess with them!

[Elaine]

Crazy Police dogs, dont want to mess with them!

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Or Bob it seems!

 

P.S Camilla Queen

[Elaine]

That's enough now on yer bike!

[Tango190]

That's enough now on yer bike!

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Where the hell do you find all this stuff

 

Also presume "that's enough" is a challenge ?

[Elaine]

That's enough now on yer bike!

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Where the hell do you find all this stuff

 

Also presume "that's enough" is a challenge ?

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Off the Airgun forum!

[Elaine]

Doctors Have Good Stories too:

 

A man runs into the ER and yells; "My wife is going to have her baby in the cab!"

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one!

 

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At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," the patient said sadly!

 

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One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

 

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I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.

I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left."

Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence.

He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.

I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked.

He was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.

 

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During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

"Which one?", asked the doctor.

"The patch. The nurse told me to put a new one on every six hours, and now I'm running out of places to put it!"

The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered what he hoped he wouldn't see; the man had over fifty patches on his body.

Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

And you always wondered why instructions always seemed to state the obvious!

 

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While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"

After a look of complete confusion she answered, "Why, not for about twenty years, when my husband was alive."

 

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I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"

"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labelled "KY Jelly."

 

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And of course, the best is saved for last:

 

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist. She asked, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered.

She asked, "Does it work?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.

"I can if I take two," he answered!

 

[Tango190]

[Mark H]

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/592/

[Elaine]

http://www.compfused.com/directlink/592/

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Now I wonder what would happen to the Polo really - group buy anyone?!

[Steve J]

Strange, I thought it was the one with the hole?

[Mark H]

http://www.testofcharacter.co.uk/play_mov_hi.asp

[Reg]

http://www.testofcharacter.co.uk/play_mov_hi.asp

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I bet he felt a right tit, or maybe both!

[Elaine]

Go to the Urban Dictionary and look up 'Elise!', no better still try 'Lotus'

[Steve J]

Now I know why you like your Lotus.

[Tango190]

Go to the Urban Dictionary and look up 'Elise!', no better still try 'Lotus'

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Why did I just put my fingertips together, separate my fingers in an unusual way, and wonder if it's possible.

 

Any way, where do you put the Thumbs