Australian Radio Station

[Elaine]

Apologies if its been posted before, and to the mods if it's OTT.

 

A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find

the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following are the

final 4.

 

1st place is great!

 

4th Place

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy, and started to run amok. I was finally able to grab

hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other

patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now,

she would be punished.

 

To my horror, she looked me in the eye, and said a voice just as

threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that

I saw you kissing Daddy's willy last night!"

 

The silence was deafening.

 

After this enlightening exchange even the tellers stopped what they were

doing! I mustered the last of my dignity, and walked out of the bank with

my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me

were the screams of laughter.

 

 

3rd Place

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home but my

parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over

for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard

the telephone ringing downstairs.

 

I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the

phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get

dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly

came on and a whole crowd of yelled "Surprise!"

 

My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my

friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot

In a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.

Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

 

 

2nd Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got

Up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.

 

Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public

address system, and boomed out for the entire store to hear "Price check

on 7 lane; Tampax Supersize."

 

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently

misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for' thumbtacks'.

 

In a very businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the public address

system: "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb, or the kind

you belt in with a hammer?"

 

 

1st place

 

And the winner is........

 

This one happened at a major Australian University in October last

year..

 

In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose levels

found in semen. A young female raised her hand and asked, "If I

understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male

semen like in sugar?"

 

"That's correct" responded the professor, going on to add some

statistical data.

 

Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste

sweet?"

 

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor

girl turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had

inadvertently said she picked up her books and without a word walked out

of the class..

 

However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a

classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question. 'It doesn't

taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your

tongue, and not in the back of your throat."

[ipanter]

I think 4th place should have won - kids say the funniest things.

[Zircon450]

I think 4th place should have won - kids say the funniest things.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'd go with that. The little un's choice of words could have been considerably worse.