Rant - Nlc

[ipanter]

I walked out of my front door this afternoon at 3.30pm to find some bloke pissing up the side of my house not 3 foot from my front door. (I live in an end of terrace where there is a gated alley that runs down the side).

 

Most of you will now imagine a chav stinding there with his cock in his hand, but no this chap was about 50!

 

When i asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, his reply was along the lines of "he needed a piss what was he to do?"

 

So i asked him where he lived, (i knew he was local as i've seen him about before), his reply was "Kind Edward Road". That's next street along from mine and no more than a 2 minute walk at absolute maximum.

 

When i confronted him with this he became very irate and started shouting and swearing, the cheek! After about a minute of his shouting, and me calmly telling him to shut the F$%£ up, he starts asking me how old i though he was and that he was so old and that he had a bladder problem, likely story!

 

I just couldn't believe it, broad daylight and everything, some people are so scummy.

 

Who votes i find out exactly where he lives and i piss through his letterbox?

 

And before anyone mentions how often i jump out of the car to piss while on runs, that's always in a hedge or bush, never on someone house. Well maybe a badgers but we don't like them anyway!

 

Ahh, rant over, i feel much better now - Thanks for listening.

 

Ian

[DerekC]

We used to have exactly the same problem where we used to live, it seems that our entry way was used quite regular as a toilet even though only 100 yards up the road was a public toilet. They even had the cheek to leave the gate open afterwards too.

 

Also our garden was just the right distance from the local chip shop for discarded chip wrappers and drinks cans to be thrown in to it. We had hanging baskets stolen and whilst we were trying to sell the house, a couple of our "For Sale" signs disappeared too. What really annoyed me was that this was on a main road that constantly had traffic on it yet it didn't stop the scum bags. The traffic cones on top of our car used to annoy us too.

 

So I totally understand why you are annoyed Ian, do what ever you have to, the scum bag deserves it

 

I'm glad we now live in a cul de sac away from the scum bags.

[darren5591]

im all for ya pi$$ing through his letterbox :lol:i knew i would!!! , doesn`t he have a toilet of his own????

perhaps hes a old chav?

anyway like 2 minutes aint nothing lol

 

in the daylight as well!!

[JEST0R]

I'd have kicked him in the kcackers and asked him how is his bladder was now

[GCCK]

When you're 50+ and a prostate the size of a melon, you'll understand why even the next street is too far.

 

He might have been a layabout, or possibly, just possibly his anger was through embarrassment of being caught in a humiliating situation.

 

Do you mean to say you've never met anyone with prostate trouble?

[Wuddie]

are we going to be stopping every 5 miles on the way to le-man graeme???

[Mr G]

May I be so humble as to recommend the following:

 

A two day old dog turd (large)

A Thunderflash crow scarer

A complete toilet roll

 

 

They say revenge is best served cold, but I think it is best servced really smelly.

 

Take Thunderflash (used by farmers for scaring crows, if you can;t get one of these, the default is a decent banger). Insert Thunderflash into said dog stool, a la Arnie with the rat and the tracker in Total Recall, then slide turd carefully into empty bog roll, leaving fuse at one end. Neatly fold ends of card bog roll to 'seal' ends, leaving fuse exposed still.

 

Select time to vist chav neighbour.

 

Light turd bomb and slip through letterbox

 

Run away

[ally]

Hi Ian, its been a while.

 

My mate caught a guy trying to steel his car (in broad daylight) from outside the front of his house. So Calmly went inside got a shot gun, put some salt shot into the end and then proceded to unload a round into the ground a few yards from the chav criminal. Suprisinly they have not had any problems since.

 

You should try that one Ian

 

p.s.. never did hear back from you re. 1st, 2nd lotus day. You still up for it at some point ?. Text me if you are.

 

Alex