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Lotus in the Peak
28th - 30th June 2024

Sniff Petrol


Steve J

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TG ATTACKED BY TWATS

Popular car-based television show Top Gear was under fire this week from tedious leaf eating group Transport 1973 which claims that the programme is "too fun" and should be removed from our screens. Transport 1973, whose aim is to make Britain adopt a transport policy similar to that experienced in the early '70s, insist that Top Gear is indoctrinating the public into enjoying cars and viewing them as an entirely reasonable way to get around considering that the trains are so expensive and shit. "This simply won't do," said Transport 1973 spokesman Umbar Farp. "Our organisation is promoting a return to the transport policies of the early '70s when everyone didn't have a car and those that did couldn't use it anyway because of the fuel crisis. We would like to see more people using public transport or investigating other alternatives for making themselves miserable and late". Mr Farp went on to insist that Top Gear is not only far too entertaining to be on television, but that its tone was inflammatory and dangerous; "The general public cannot be allowed to watch a programme in which a car is driven at speed on a private airfield because they will immediately go out and copy that behaviour on public roads in just the same way as they might watch Witness with Harrison Ford and then run off to hide with Kelly McGillis in an Amish community or rent a copy of Leon and start assassinating people, talking in a French accent and nurturing a young Natalie Portman". Mr Farp later denied that his group's outlook was so patronising that it made your tongue itch. "The public is at risk and it's up to self-appointed guardians like us to protect them from experiencing 'pleasure', especially in cars". Transport 1973 say they are also stoutly opposed to 'progress' and 'minding their own fucking business'

 

http://www.sniffpetrol.com/

 

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